


Judge Moon Moon

by BlueEyedArcher



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Humor, Judge Moon Moon, Wholesome, derpy, wolf training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedArcher/pseuds/BlueEyedArcher
Summary: Jacob wasn't exactly sure what he did wrong, but he really would like to know. His bright blue eyes gazed upon the white fur of yet another Judge created to assert his purpose though this one was found incredibly lacking in the general feel of Judge-iness. It was apparent by the constant blep position of the creature's tongue, sticking out the corner of its mouth at an awkward angle. The way its eyes settled on him with no intended purpose but never ceased to follow him, even without the beast moving its head. It was bordering on unnerving for the soldier. It could barely walk without tripping on it's own paws, landing on the ground face first more often than not, tail and rear stuck in the air and hind paws kicking along to drive it deeper into the grass and dirt. He felt this one was very much touched in the head and considered putting it out of its premature misery immediately.---------Jacob copes with the presence of the Moon Moon of the Judges.





	1. Chapter 1

Jacob wasn't exactly sure what he did wrong, but he really would like to know. His bright blue eyes gazed upon the white fur of yet another Judge created to assert his purpose though this one was found incredibly lacking in the general feel of Judge-iness. It was apparent by the constant blep position of the creature's tongue, sticking out the corner of its mouth at an awkward angle. The way its eyes settled on him with no intended purpose but never ceased to follow him, even without the beast moving its head. It was bordering on unnerving for the soldier. It could barely walk without tripping on it's own paws, landing on the ground face first more often than not, tail and rear stuck in the air and hind paws kicking along to drive it deeper into the grass and dirt. He felt this one was very much touched in the head and considered putting it out of its premature misery immediately.

 

His hand came to rest upon his thigh holster, stretched to touch the cool metal of his handgun before the hand paused. Something in those large emotionless doe eyes plucked at him. It wasn’t necessarily pity but something akin to that that made him withdraw, heave a heavy sigh and simply leave the broken Judge to its own devices for the day. He would mull it over, hoping it wouldn’t snap and eat one of the Chosen milling about the courtyard.

 

Turns out, it doesn’t do much of anything. The Herald would peer out over the kingdom he created, casting an eye upon the people filling his army only to spot that one lone white blip of a useless Judge still sitting in the same exact spot he left it in over six hours prior. He narrowed his eyes on the wolf and noticed it was staring at a fixed position near the cages, inadvertently unnerving the prisoners within. They tried to spook it or send it running away from the cages but the Judge failed to respond, even to their shouting and curses. Jacob leaned against the balcony to watch the events unfold and heaved a heavy sigh once again. He decided it would be best to test the creature’s aptitude for survival.

 

This led to two peggies helping heft the Judge and its ridiculous weight, into the back of one of the Eden’s Gate trucks. They were given direction to dump the Judge near the biggest hot spots of Whitetail Militia activity. They left the Judge without a Chosen to lead it and returned back to the Center without incident.

 

Three days later, Jacob was awoken to someone sounding the alarm that the perimeter had been disturbed. The early light of dawn breaking over the treeline to filter into the Center. The Herald rubbed a firm hand over his face, eyes exhausted as his men rushed about to investigate the disturbance only to find their broken Judge sitting at the front gates with a sign hanging from its neck with a Whitetail Militia marker.

 

**_Jacob_ **

**_Thought you’d want your dog back._ **

**_Take better care of it next time._ **

**_Would hate to see a good boy get lost from its loving owner._ **

**_-Eli and the Whitetail Militia_ **

  


Jacob stared at the “heartfelt” letter from Palmer, crumpling it up in hand as he scowled at the wolf. It was undecided on rather this could be considered a sign of survival or just dumb luck but Jacob was fed up with the day already. He turned on his heel to head back into the Center when he felt a heavy weight crash into the back of his legs, the wet droplets of slobber pooling down the back of his calf and into his boot. He turned to see the dumb Judge collapsed after stumbling over its own paws. He gritted his teeth, shifted his leg away from the beast before bending down to drag it back up onto all four paws. The wolf stumbled forward and lapped a long muddy tongue across his cheek in appreciation for the assistance. The subtle snickers of peggies in the background could be heard but the Herald didn’t show his disgust or annoyance. Simply hefting the pup over his shoulder and carrying the limp weight inside the center.

 

He deposited the pup on the floor beside his bed, taking a slow step back as he directed. “Sit.” The Judge lowered its head to the floor and smooshed it against the tile, rear end high in the air, front paws folded underneath it as it backed up and attempted to lean its hindquarters against the frame of the Herald’s bed. “Or just...do whatever the fuck that is.” He was answered with a wet snort that scattered slobber and snot across the floor. A detail he decided to blatantly ignore as he moved to wash the mud and slobber off his face and return to his desk. Tossing a wary glance towards the Judge, he discovered it collapsed sideways, still mostly in the awkward twisted pretzel position it seemed to enjoy forming, tongue hanging out and leaving puddles underneath it’s chin.

 

Within the hour, he got hardly anything done, desperately attempting to ignore the broken Judge that was licking streaks across the floor apparently cleaning up its earlier mess. Along with a good amount of mud from passing peggy boots and Jacob’s own. He gave it a bowl of water and some food which only ended up spilled out of their respective bowls to mix into a soggy mess on the floor. Which the wolf proceeded to lap up in awkward slurping motions. Jacob decided to quit questioning its sanity or logic at that point and continued with his day.

 

It could only test his patience further by delivering John, unceremoniously upon his doorstep with a massive pout on his face and some new tidbit of information that was disastrous and unavoidable for him. Most of it was overly dramatic and John making mountains out of mole hills. Jacob suspected John did this only as an excuse to visit his brothers being he was incredibly bored sitting around his own region without his usual entertainment or outlets. He didn’t really blame his little brother for that and often found a sense of relief in the small breaks they were allowed to just be a family though today was not one of those days as John’s footsteps stormed into his office, already mid rant only to break apart at the sight of the Judge in the office. John’s first reaction was to coil back, not at all accustomed to the beasts of Jacob’s burden being inside the Center like this. His second response came at the visual of the broken minded Judge licking dust bunnies and spider webs from underneath Jacob’s bed with one of the Herald’s dirty discarded shirts stuck halfway on its head so only its snoot stuck out with a long tongue lapping up minuscule clots of dirt and other unsanitary morsels.

 

“What is wrong with your Judge?” John blanched, ignoring his complaints about Pastor Jerome and that bartender, Mary May for a moment to just stare in equal parts bewilderment and discomfort as the beast snorted into the tile then lapped up its mess before stumbling and falling face first between John’s feet. Its tongue lolling across the expensive freshly polished shoes of the Herald who blanched in disgust and shuffled back. The judge lurched forward, head shifting this way and that as it inch wormed its way across the floor after John.

 

“Nothing, now what did you want?” Jacob grunted out, standing up to retrieve the wolf before it pinned John to the back wall. He dragged it back by its scruff, removed the shirt to toss into the laundry hamper and sat it back on its haunches only for it to melt back into the floor in a pile of white fluff and slobber. John looked between Jacob and the wolf before slowly stepping away, the eyes following him around the room with an unnerving sense of presence that felt unnatural and simply wrong.

 

“Actually, I believe I’ll bring it up another time. I have a meeting with Joe that I really shouldn’t be late for.” He excused breathily. “I’ll call you later, Jake.” With a curt turn of the heel, he stalked back out the door, leaving Jacob with his problematic Judge.

 

The day proceeded with little incident, well, nothing more weird than what had already occurred involving the Judge, roughly nicknamed Moon Moon by the collection of peggies in the mess hall. They all seemed rather fond of the beast, oddly enough or at least were enjoying the laughs they received from the creatures misfortune. Jacob repeated the same process with the food dishes as before, finished out the last of his paperwork for the day and collected his own meal to eat. He rearranged the perimeter schedules, wrote up the ones for the next month of so and prepared to turn in for the night sometime around 11pm. The beast was rooting around beneath his bed once more, even after Jacob laid his full weight down upon it and adjusted the thin blanket to cover himself with. He dressed down to just his boxers and a thin grey t-shirt, fixing his dog tags to rest upon his chest and released a deep weary sigh. This day felt much longer and far more taxing than most.

 

It didn't seem to stop there though as the wolf plopped on top of him both without warning and severely lacking in grace. A warm wet tongue dragging across his shoulder and up his neck as a slobbery damp maw pressed it's cold wet snoot against the crook of his neck. He shivered, hands reached already to force the wolf off but despite the runt size of the beast, it weighed a considerable amount and planted itself firmly in his lap, hogging a good portion of his chest and lap with its furry and rather warm body. The soldier just sighed heavily, shifted enough until comfortable and gave up trying. Today was over, he was throwing in the white towel. His troubles could wait until tomorrow.

  


Tomorrow wasn't any better considering he woke up to a mysterious puddle on the balcony and a report that Moon Moon had streamed its morning distaste down through the bars upon the nearest unfortunate peggy (or two) standing below. This tidbit of information was met with yet another heavy sigh, leaving the Herald disappointed but certainly not at all surprised.

 

He continued on with his day, working through the latest string of reports that cluttered his desk after another grueling night at war. He heaved a weary sigh, stopping to take a break and retrieve a cup of coffee from the kitchen, leaving Moon Moon to the beast’s own twisted devices, curled up in a pretzel form once again and crammed in the oddest smallest space possible. Which was the beneath of Jacob’s bed. He was gone only a few minutes when he returned to find the wolf had turned itself around in its spot and could hear the wet slurping of god knows whatever it was doing. The Herald chose to write it off as the wolf licking the floor again and went back to work.

 

His focus lasted only a few moments before the slurping became a bitter crunching noise that was not at all normal. He rose from his seat to investigate, his voice firm in command. “Moon Moon, what do you have?” The crunching only seemed to quicken in pace as Jacob quickly closed in. “Show me.” His large hands wrapped around the wolf's haunches and pulled it free of its space only to see the leather strap of his rifle chewed into minuscule bits and littered about the beneath of his bed floating in a puddle of slobber and residual blood from the wolf's gums. At first he felt the twisting knife of anger spiking up inside him at the now ruined gun strap but he quickly smothered it as he pried the wolf’s jaws apart to fish the pieces of leather out of its mouth before it swallowed something dangerous. His eyes narrowed on the beast as it crumpled back on the floor with a dramatic drawn out whine, body straightened out and stretched. Every attempt at the Herald speaking was cut off with long rolling howls that blotted out his words. After a long silence from both sides, Jacob folded his arms, stared the wolf down as he asked. “Are you done?”

 

Moon Moon simply grunted, smooshed its muzzle into the floor and made another snort, scattering snot across the tile. Jacob let out a heavy sigh once again and shook his head.


	2. Chapter 2

With a new dawn, there came a new day and Jacob deserved a very much needed break from his work. Slipping his rifle over his shoulder, he adjusted the new strap he added and started hiking out of the Center and past the miniature pond out front and towards the woods. The soft chuckle of peggies were a sure sign that the broken pup was still trailing along behind him with a dopey expression. Its tongue lolled out as it padded awkwardly around the edge of the lake. Jacob made a valiant effort to ignore the beast until he heard the telltale splash followed by concerned gurgling. Turning to look at the mutt, it had shoved its entire head into the shallow waters, jaws wrapped around something of interest between the rocks but it lacked the logic or common sense to let go to get air, pulling in futile bursts to bring whatever it was up to the open.

 

When the beast looked on the verge of drowning, the Herald looped his arms around its midsection and dragged the wet muddy wolf back to the shore where it plopped back on unsteady hind legs. The soldier glanced towards the item of intent and discovered the stupid mutt was hellbent on dragging a tree roo out of the water. He heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head, heading onward into the woods and serious considering letting natural selection take over at this point.

 

He continued into the woods, despite the soft padding of paws through brush behind him. He had half a mind to send the wolf back to the Center where it couldn't cause him anymore trouble. At least nothing immediate. Twice, he settled into the brush after tracking a Whitetail deer, and twice Moon Moon scared their quarry off with whines and the second time, he actually chased after the deer. After the third blunder involving a very angry Turkey that wasn't taking the pup's shit, Moon Moon was chased back to hide behind the Herald who's patience was wearing extremely thin.

 

Jacob started down a narrow slope that diverged the trail into two paths. One went higher up the mountain towards an old mining camp while the other led down towards a radio tower that would bring him to the road. In between was good hunting and lowlands for larger game to bed down in. Moon Moon trotted along behind him though the Herald's interest in the wolf was quickly dwindling and was working up a plan to pass it off to some minor outpost if only to get it out of his hair. 

 

His frustrations blinded him to the loose gravel under foot. His boots skidded across it, the heel slipping free of solid ground before all of him started to slide an uncomfortable path to the lower portions of terrain, leaving long scrapes jabbing into Jacob's back and sides. His rifle fell free of his arm, coming to rest a few feet away. Jacob groaned, noticing his sights were probably all banged to hell or at least knocked off kilter. He would have to range it back in once they returned. 

 

Moon Moon inevitably remained up on the embankment of the trail, staring down the rocky exterior at the Herald, giving quiet whines of inquiry. “Encase you're wondering, I'm fine.” Jacob grunted out, giving a pained groan as he pushed himself up to his feet and dusted himself off. Letting out an exhausted huff, he stepped towards his rifle only to be met with the chilling chattering sounds of a very pissed off Montana wolverine. His glacial blue gaze darted to meet the beady eyes of the devil incarnate, staring him down with fangs bared and claws scratching angrily at the earth. “Fuck.” Jacob hissed through clenched teeth, realizing his rifle was between him and death on steroids.

 

One wrong move and the beast would rip him to pieces and he had nowhere else to run, his back to the slope and the wolverine blocking his only real logical escape. He took a slow step back which caused the wolverine to lunge forward with a sharp hiss, its lumbering body crashing over top of his rifle and securing the end of any hope he had of retrieving it. Jacob held out his hands, already anticipating this being how he dies. At the fangs of an apex predator. It certainly was far more interesting than the cold lead of a bullet biting into his flesh. Though he wasn’t anticipating being ripped to shreds either.

 

Jacob reached for the knife on his belt when the beast lunged, his fingers fumbled to free the handle from the clip, tugging frantically when the first glimpse of teeth tore into his pant leg and grazed skin. He kicked his foot out at the wolverine, slamming the tread into the side of the beast’s head only drawing out more growls and gargled hisses from the creature. He managed to free his knife just as the wolverine drew back with a snarl before coming at him all teeth and rage when a white blur barreled down upon it, sending the black beast tumbling into the brush. Fur ripped up in tufts and send flying everywhere as Moon Moon descended upon the offending predator. 

 

Jacob wasted no time to gawk as he scrambled for his rifle, hearing the sharp pained whines of his pup as the wolverine fought back with claws and teeth, its front paws wrapped around the wolf’s neck, placing it in a head lock as strong jaws went for his muzzle and face, tearing red streaks where they broke skin. Moon Moon twisted around, clamping jaws on one of the wolverine’s legs and snapping down upon it. The predator cried out, returning its efforts two fold on the smaller wolf.

 

The soldier drove the heel of his boot into the side of the wolverine’s head, pinning the writhing beast in place to give his pup a chance to fight back. It jolted, knocking him off balance but Moon Moon reasserted his efforts to pin the fiend down while his master made a grab for his rifle. He turned quickly, not even bothering to use his scope as he took aim. At this range, he had enough experience to hit his mark without using sights or lining up his mark. His voice rose quickly in his crouched position as he barked out sharply. “Moon Moon! Sit!” The wolf released the wolverine, backing its rear end up and pressing itself into a submissive pose. Just as the beast made for the kill after his pup, Jacob squeezed the trigger with a deafening bang. Blood streaked up along the stone slope, slathering brain matter across the backdrop before the body slumped into a limp heap. Moon Moon’s paws crossed over his head, giving howls of disapproval at the loud noise. 

 

Jacob slumped back on his rear with a heavy sigh of his own, letting out a deep rolling chuckle at his pup. He held out a hand, his rifle balancing over one of his thighs while he urged his pup to join him. Moon Moon took the invite at full value and plopped the full weight of his body into the Herald’s lap, head coming to rest against Jacob’s chest as big doe eyes gazed up at him. Tongue lolling out to smear blood and shreds of wolverine fur across his neck and cheek, catching tidbits of dirt clumps from the Herald’s graceless fall. A big strong hand ploughed through the wolf’s fur, stroking across his head and gently around the minor wounds on his face in praise. “Good boy. You did good.” He cooed, his voice rumbling pleasantly for the first time in days since the ridiculous pooch entered his abode. 

 

Jacob had a newfound sense of pride burning inside the pit of his stomach with how well his pup defended him. It wasn’t something he had expected. Was actually, if he was being honest, expecting to die while the runt watched in a stupor and then maybe, the wolverine would eat it afterwards as dessert. He was pleasantly surprised with the outcome and proud to know Moon Moon rose to the task when his master was in trouble. “You’ve earned a nice reward, pup. Anything you want.” He teased.

  
  


A few days later, Jacob would come to regret those words as ‘Anything you want’ became apparent in the way of his boot being chewed beyond recognition with one of the shoelaces vanishing completely. It reemerged six hours later in the courtyard after Moon Moon did his business and the peggies were caught in a bout of laughter so fierce, one nearly pissed themselves during guard duty. 


End file.
